There are plenty of valid reasons to feel anxious before getting married. This doesn’t automatically mean you’re getting “cold feet.” You are making a major emotional commitment. In the process, you’re probably also making a huge financial commitment. These are stressful factors but again, are not a cause for second thoughts.
Accepting pre-marriage anxiety as typical frees you up to focus on dealing with it. Rather than default to a worst-case scenario, allocate your energy toward stress management during a very unique time period. You can’t control all the variables but you absolutely can maximize the positive aspects of this experience.
Why Do We Feel Anxiety Before Getting Married?
Of course, with a wedding ceremony looming there are logistical stressors. You have to manage cost, family drama, and endless details. You might be anxious about giving a public speech at the event itself. But it’s really the marriage, not the wedding, that presents the most provocative challenges, e.g.
- Your perception of marriage may have been shaped by unhealthy marriages you’ve witnessed
- Marriage, by definition, your independence, responsibilities, and lifestyle
- There’s the mystery of all — not knowing how this will play out in either the short- or long-term
- You’re making an immense commitment to someone else and also to yourself
If you’re pondering concepts like this, it’s a good thing. It means you’re not taking marriage lightly and you’re open to reflection and new ideas. In the meantime, however, it helps to address the anxiety you’re feeling.
4 Ways To Deal With Anxiety Before Getting Married
Do Not Abandon Your Self-Care Practices
Even with a two-mile-long to-do list, you must never neglect your own needs. If you are a gym person, keep going. If you do yoga, don’t abandon it. And then you have the basics, e.g getting enough sleep and making healthy meal choices. Self-care helps to build the resilience you need now more than ever.
Make time to contemplate what’s on your mind. Ask yourself the tough questions you may be repressing. For example:
- What feels important about getting married?
- How do I think my life is about to change?
- What will I miss from my pre-marriage life?
- Is there something about marriage that makes you afraid and if so, why?
- Do I experience anxiety in other parts of my life?
Do the work to understand what you’re feeling and why. This can go a long way toward a) reducing anxiety and b) clarifying your own feelings as the big day approaches.
Connect With Your Partner
This is the ideal time to begin working as a team when tensions are running high. Do not take it out on each other. Talk openly about feeling anxious and use this as an opportunity to resolve issues together. You’ll be laying a powerful foundation for healthy communication and peaceful conflict resolution.
Focus on Something Else
Sure, the upcoming and marriage are super important. That does not mean you have to give 24/7 attention in that direction. Make fun plans — alone, with friends, and with your partner. Everyone needs balance in their life so be proactive.
It’s More Important to Plan Your Marriage Than Your Wedding
As your wedding day nears, it can feel like the walls are closing in. In such times, remind yourself that the wedding is a big party. But your marriage is a lifelong commitment. Use your energy wisely. Do not fixate on wedding details that no one will probably notice anyway. The health of your marriage is always more important.
Before the pre-marriage stress gets the better of you, ask for help. I’d love to support you in this challenging but wonderful time of your life. Anxiety therapy and pre-marital counseling can help you work on these things now to ensure a long-lasting and strong foundation for your future.
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