Therapy Available in SF, Marin and Online
870 Market Street #357, San Francisco, CA 94102 | 200 Tamal Plaza #235, Corte Madera, CA 94925

Relationship Counseling

 

 

Have You Reached A Crossroads In Your Relationship?

Relationships are like the tides of an ocean. They ebb and flow. Come and go. Sometimes, the water is smooth. Other times, huge waves come crashing down and thrash around anyone and anything in their path. Sound familiar?

  • Do you find it difficult to effectively communicate with your partner?
  • Does it feel as though you’re stepping into a conversational minefield every time difficult or emotional topics come up?
  • Are you struggling with anger, depression, or substance abuse as a result of a relationship that just isn’t working?
  • Do you feel disconnected from your partner or spouse?
  • Has something in your relationship caused you to feel as though you’re falling short as a partner?
  • Are you struggling with the idea of making a long-term commitment?
  • Are you unable to balance your needs as an individual with the needs of the partnership?

No matter what relationship challenges you face, it’s important to identify how you feel and to be able to communicate effectively with your partner.

Men are from Mars … where apparently, we don’t learn how to communicate well.

Society has invented many qualities of what makes an ideal man, and being a good communicator is not near the top of the list. Instead, we, as men, are conditioned to believe that our only valid means of self-expression is through anger, aggression, or playing the dominant alpha male role.

We’re taught to be strong, decisive, and powerful: characteristics that often seem at odds with being open and vulnerable. And not being able to resolve these issues on our own—let alone, seeking the help of a therapist—contributes to the pervasive stigma around mental health. 

Anything but soft…….

Expressing “soft” emotions like sadness, fear, and anxiety are seen as signs of weakness or as a lack of self-control. Because of this, we can grow up to find it extremely difficult to navigate the terrain of direct emotional communication, resulting in ongoing relationship issues that create obstacles in our lives.

The socialization of boys does not include many avenues for self-exploration, identifying feelings, and understanding the root of our emotional experiences. 

Regardless of gender, we’re all heavily influenced by the relationship patterns we observed in our families. And if our working model for partnerships is ultimately dysfunctional, we will inevitably carry over the same foibles and maladaptive techniques that we internalized at a young age. 

Yet the truth is that all relationships have their own unique problems, and counseling is precisely the vehicle for finding their solutions. 

Anything but soft…….

Expressing “soft” emotions like sadness, fear, and anxiety are seen as signs of weakness or as a lack of self-control. Because of this, we can grow up to find it extremely difficult to navigate the terrain of direct emotional communication, resulting in ongoing relationship issues that create obstacles in our lives.

The socialization of boys does not include many avenues for self-exploration, identifying feelings, and understanding the root of our emotional experiences.

Regardless of gender, we’re all heavily influenced by the relationship patterns we observed in our families. And if our working model for partnerships is ultimately dysfunctional, we will inevitably carry over the same foibles and maladaptive techniques that we internalized at a young age. 

Yet the truth is that all relationships have their own unique problems, and counseling is precisely the vehicle for finding their solutions. 

Every relationship has its challenges. Contacting me is the first step in overcoming them.

Request a free consultation

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Wondering if the grass is greener on the other side?

When aspects of your intimate relationship cause you to be unsatisfied with your life, stepping out on your partner can seem like a quick fix or a chance to explore another side of yourself.

It could be that you started an affair or cheated on your partner. Or perhaps you’re the one in the relationship struggling with feelings of betrayal after infidelity and wondering if you’re capable of trusting again.

You’re likely thinking that if you could just feel acknowledged and respected by your significant other, then your relationship problems would solve themselves.

Perhaps you’re already in couples counseling with your partner but looking for individual therapy sessions to help you express your needs and perspective more effectively.

Though you may not know where to begin in developing a vocabulary to convey your needs, relationship counseling offers you an opportunity to reconnect with your emotions and learn how to communicate them. 

Step back and see your relationship in a new light

Between daily stressors and the buildup of relationship issues, it’s likely that you don’t have many opportunities to step back, evaluate your circumstances with clarity, and understand the underlying factors impacting your experience. 

Therapy offers you a platform for this kind of emotional exploration while providing you with the unbiased, outside perspective of a professional.

Because each person comes to counseling with their own unique history and experiences with relationships, I tailor therapy to meet your needs based on what self-limiting beliefs you arrive with. 

These beliefs were likely developed in childhood or adolescence and often drive certain behaviors and tendencies, including relationship conflict, substance abuse, anger, infidelity, and porn use among others. 

When we can get to the core of where those patterns originated, you’ll be clearer on your needs and stress responses. 

Step back and see your relationship in a new light

Between daily stressors and the buildup of relationship issues, it’s likely that you don’t have many opportunities to step back, evaluate your circumstances with clarity, and understand the underlying factors impacting your experience.

Therapy offers you a platform for this kind of emotional exploration while providing you with the unbiased, outside perspective of a professional. Because each person comes to counseling with their own unique history and experiences with relationships, I tailor therapy to meet your needs based on what self-limiting beliefs you arrive with.

These beliefs were likely developed in childhood or adolescence and often drive certain behaviors and tendencies, including relationship conflict, substance abuse, anger, infidelity, and porn use among others.

When we can get to the core of where those patterns originated, you’ll be clearer on your needs and stress responses. 

I cultivate a safe atmosphere where you’ll be free to generate ideas, practice communication, and tackle relationship challenges without judgment. 

Counseling Helps Remove Relationship Roadblocks

Throughout counseling, you’ll gain clarity about what is getting in your way and what you can do about it. As we examine your core beliefs, we’ll develop a better understanding of your automatic responses to distress or conflict, so that you can have a better emotional awareness of your triggers.

In addition, you’ll be challenged to consider your partner’s viewpoint as I break down your relationship issues and offer a different perspective—especially in cases of infidelity.

For over a decade, I have seen men and women alike struggle in their relationships. I’ve helped a lot of guys work out concerns about their partnership as they develop a stronger understanding of their experiences.

How Relationship Counseling Works

Using both control-mastery theory and cognitive-behavioral techniques, you will develop a thorough understanding of how your early experiences impacted you and how the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors generated from negative self-beliefs have hindered your relational development. 

In addition, mindfulness strategies will keep you present in your experience so that you can more accurately identify and respond to your feelings. 

Ultimately, counseling will empower you to change your relationship with your emotions so that you can more effectively advocate for yourself. 

I am confident that the skills and insights you gain in counseling will not only inform the relationship with your significant other but also improve the relationship you have with yourself and those around you. 

How Relationship Counseling Works

Using both control-mastery theory and cognitive-behavioral techniques, you will develop a thorough understanding of how your early experiences impacted you and how the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors generated from negative self-beliefs have hindered your relational development.

In addition, mindfulness strategies will keep you present in your experience so that you can more accurately identify and respond to your feelings.

Ultimately, counseling will empower you to change your relationship with your emotions so that you can more effectively advocate for yourself. 

I am confident that the skills and insights you gain in counseling will not only inform the relationship with your significant other but also improve the relationship you have with yourself and those around you. 

FAQs about getting help from a relationship therapist

++ I’m worried about spending time and money on relationship counseling.

It’s expensive to be miserable! So, if you’re concerned about the financial aspect of therapy, I encourage you to consider the cost of not getting help. Continued suffering in strained relationships can lead to costly substance abuse or legal ramifications while mental distress is likely to reduce your productivity at work, jeopardizing your income potential. 

For many, the work in therapy is about breaking a cycle of dysfunctional relationships. If you can re-establish healthy patterns and communication techniques, you’ll reap the benefits long-term and likely feel more fulfilled in life, and you can’t put a price on that. 

If time is an issue, I offer online sessions during both daytime and evening hours to make it very flexible for clients to schedule. As with a financial investment, investing time now will likely improve your quality of time moving forward. 

++ How does therapy actually help and how can it improve my relationship?

I tend to run my practice with the mantra that “a problem shared is a problem halved.” Fully disclosing what burdens us in a supportive and nonjudgmental space helps us to free up mental and emotional energy so that we can move forward in our lives. I’m confident that by embarking on the therapy process, you’ll gain a new perspective on both individual challenges and relationship problems. 

When I first started therapy as a client, I was really hesitant to share my experience with someone else. However, practicing vulnerability with my emotions allowed me to make true progress in my life. Looking back, I’m really glad I made the decision to invest in myself by going to therapy.  

++ Can I bring my partner to relationship counseling sessions?

While I primarily see individual clients, I am open to seeing couples. If you think the best progress will be made with your partner present, I’m invested in helping you to move forward. I can also refer you to excellent couples counselors in the area if you decide you’d like to see me on an individual basis but still set aside time for relationship counseling with your partner. 

Additionally, if you’re currently in couples counseling, I offer individual counseling to supplement your therapeutic experience. You may be feeling that you could get additional work done in individual sessions, and I am happy to work with you or your current therapist to coordinate around your needs. 

FAQs about getting help from a relationship therapist

++ I’m worried about spending time and money on relationship counseling.

It’s expensive to be miserable! So, if you’re concerned about the financial aspect of therapy, I encourage you to consider the cost of not getting help. Continued suffering in strained relationships can lead to costly substance abuse or legal ramifications while mental distress is likely to reduce your productivity at work, jeopardizing your income potential. 

For many, the work in therapy is about breaking a cycle of dysfunctional relationships. If you can re-establish healthy patterns and communication techniques, you’ll reap the benefits long-term and likely feel more fulfilled in life, and you can’t put a price on that. 

If time is an issue, I offer online sessions during both daytime and evening hours to make it very flexible for clients to schedule. As with a financial investment, investing time now will likely improve your quality of time moving forward. 

++ How does therapy actually help and how can it improve my relationship?

I tend to run my practice with the mantra that “a problem shared is a problem halved.” Fully disclosing what burdens us in a supportive and nonjudgmental space helps us to free up mental and emotional energy so that we can move forward in our lives. I’m confident that by embarking on the therapy process, you’ll gain a new perspective on both individual challenges and relationship problems. 

When I first started therapy as a client, I was really hesitant to share my experience with someone else. However, practicing vulnerability with my emotions allowed me to make true progress in my life. Looking back, I’m really glad I made the decision to invest in myself by going to therapy.  

++ Can I bring my partner to relationship counseling sessions?

While I primarily see individual clients, I am open to seeing couples. If you think the best progress will be made with your partner present, I’m invested in helping you to move forward. I can also refer you to excellent couples counselors in the area if you decide you’d like to see me on an individual basis but still set aside time for relationship counseling with your partner. 

Additionally, if you’re currently in couples counseling, I offer individual counseling to supplement your therapeutic experience. You may be feeling that you could get additional work done in individual sessions, and I am happy to work with you or your current therapist to coordinate around your needs. 

Find Relief From Your Relationship’s Burdens 

If you’re struggling to commit or get the most out of your relationship, counseling can provide you with the clarity and perspective you need to move forward. To schedule a free, 15-minute consultation or find out more about how I can help, visit my contact page.

Get Help Today

Reach out if you have any questions at all or want to talk before schedule an appointment.

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