As a therapist, I specialize in working with men ages 40 to 60 who are:

• Overworked, stressed, or drifting
• Emotionally shut down or avoidant
• Lagging in their responsibilities 
• Dependent—on substance, porn, or work for avoidance
• Hesitant about therapy
• Ready for change, but not sure where to start

As these issues compound, they tend to put a lot of strain on men’s relationships with their partners, kids, and other loved ones. As a result, it’s common for the partners/wives of my clients to encourage therapy to help men achieve the kind of stability, engagement, partnership, intimacy, and success they’ve worked so hard to get.

He’s always working and never home. By the time he finally walks through the door, he’s pissed off, too tired to engage, or emotionally checked out. When you ask how he’s doing or if he can contribute more at home, he snaps or shuts down, and now you’re stuck feeling like a nag. Over time, he’s drifted away from the man you once knew him to be, inundated by stress, overwhelm, and the pressures of midlife.

None of us expect our partners to be “perfect”—you know that compromise is an essential part of a balanced relationship. But you can expect your partner to be more present and engaged in the life (the household, childcare, decisions about money, schools, etc.) you share together, and that’s something you both deserve.

If you’re here because you’re fed up and ready for your partner to step up, you may be looking for perspective from another guy who gets it and can lead him there.

Unlike couples counseling or therapy that takes a one-size-fits-all approach, my practice focuses on the unique psychology of men in mid-life so that clients don’t feel alienated by the process. 

While the work I do with men takes place in an individual setting, it connects to the direct experience you are having as the long-term partner of the client: the distance, the irritability, the lost connection. I can relate directly to my clients while also creating a bridge to their wives/partners and families so they can show up in their lives in an authentic, connected way.

The phases of therapy tend to look a bit like this:

• Assessing and trust-building – because I meet clients entirely where they are, we quickly establish a safe space where men don’t feel like they have to perform or put up walls.

• Understanding your shared world – while a lot of clients come in with similar struggles—work stress, parenting, mid-life transitions, etc.—I get to know the ins and outs of each unique situation so that I can individualize the process in the most effective way possible.

• Developing communication and connection skills – as men become more comfortable in the therapy space, we begin to practice actionable skills in real time, such as expressing feelings without shutting down, listening without defensiveness, and engaging in an emotionally healthy way.

• Shifting from “Me” to “We” – with improved emotional presence and clarity, you (the partner) are likely to notice shifts in your relationship as you feel heard, seen, and have a man who is partnering with you to create a life together.

• Committing to ongoing growth – as we near the end of our time together, men learn to recognize the long-term work required to keep their emotional muscles well-conditioned outside of the therapy space.

What do these phases add up to? A husband who is more emotionally present, less defensive, and more engaged. And as your relationship moves toward alignment, you’ll experience relief, connection, and hope in your life again.