you’re probably used to feeling self-sufficient and in control. Usually, you are the one with the answers, but lately, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re getting it wrong. Instead of having confidence in your next move, you may be feeling held back by stress, anxiety, and worry about the future. And it’s possible you’re withdrawing or using substances to numb and tune out your emotions because you find it difficult to face discomfort.

Perhaps you’re hitting a significant milestone in life, like moving in with your partner, getting married, or starting a family. You may wonder if you are up to the task of devoting your life to a spouse and family, unsure if this is what you really want or if you’re just going through the motions of what’s expected.

Similarly, you may be at a turning point in your career, struggling with burnout and a lack of motivation. Whether you’re feeling unfulfilled or underappreciated at your job, you may be considering a new position or new career path entirely.

Yet, you’ve worked so hard to get here, and you wonder if you’re just going through a phase or experiencing something deeper.

Alongside the loss of an expectation for how your life was supposed to be, you may be facing the loss of a person, relationship, or identity. Many men seek counseling when they are grieving a loved one, going through a divorce or breakup, or considering retirement because these transitions in life often leave us feeling alone, powerless, and out of control.

I’m here to assure you that you possess the skills and resilience needed to move forward.

In counseling through Therapy 4Men, you can feel supported in facing the challenges in your life, leveraging your strengths, and making the most out of your unique life transition.

Alongside the loss of an expectation for how your life was supposed to be, you may be facing the loss of a person, relationship, or identity. Many men seek counseling when they are grieving a loved one, going through a divorce or breakup, or considering retirement because these transitions in life often leave us feeling alone, powerless, and out of control.

I’m here to assure you that you possess the skills and resilience needed to move forward.

In counseling through Therapy 4Men, you can feel supported in facing the challenges in your life, leveraging your strengths, and making the most out of your unique life transition.

Psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar coined the term arrival fallacy, or “the illusion that once we make it, once we attain our goal or reach our destination, we will reach lasting happiness.”[1] This can apply to a wide range of accomplishments, from career advancement to financial success to making strides in our relationships. For many of us, it feels like we’re chasing our tails through life.

This is often because we were conditioned by certain pressures and norms.

Whether it was expected of us to embark upon a particular career path or “settle down,” get married, and start a family before we felt emotionally and financially ready, we can begin to feel like the decisions we make belong to someone else, and not us.

[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/28/smarter-living/you-accomplished-something-great-so-now-what.html

Unfortunately, as men, it can be difficult to question our choices or admit that we need help.

We may be worried about burdening friends and family with our problems. Or perhaps we know we won’t receive objective feedback because those close to us have different ideas about what we should do.

That’s where counseling comes in. A therapist makes space for you to pause, take a step back, and assess the situation. As we work to discover what you want for your life in therapy, you can learn to move through the next transition with confidence and ease.

When it doesn’t seem like life is happening on your terms, everyday situations and decisions can feel loaded with anxiety and what ifs. But in the neutral, objective space of therapy, you can find clarity and answers to life’s most pressing questions.

Whether you’re considering a big step in your relationship, making a job- or retirement-related transition, or reeling from a life-changing loss, counseling can provide you with concrete solutions.

WHAT TO EXPECT

While I tailor the therapy process to meet the unique needs of each client, our early sessions will likely be spent exploring your expectations and beliefs.

Looking at your life transition objectively, I will help you determine how perceptions of yourself and around you are contributing to self-doubt, hopelessness, and confusion.

From there, I will offer you meaningful skills to sideline your inner critic or other obstacles impeding your progress. Using a combination of mindfulness, control-mastery theory, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), you can learn to tune into what your feelings are telling you and establish a sense of control over your response to those feelings. Through this, you can achieve a new, more affirming perspective that will help you feel capable of tackling obstacles.

Significant transitions are often difficult and overwhelming, but therapy is a great resource during life’s adjustment periods. By working with a therapist to gain clarity and confidence, you can overcome the fear and distress at the core of your life transition.