Trying To Figure Out What’s Next?
Despite being “successful,” are you not exactly where you thought or hoped to be in life?
Is a big decision concerning your career, relationship, or life circumstance causing you to question your values, identity, and choices?
Or have you undergone a significant loss or change that has left you feeling aimless?
When at a crossroads, you’re probably used to feeling self-sufficient and in control. Usually, you are the one with the answers, but lately, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re getting it wrong. Instead of having confidence in your next move, you may be feeling held back by stress, anxiety, and worry about the future. And it’s possible you’re withdrawing or using substances to numb and tune out your emotions because you find it difficult to face discomfort.
So, What’s Gnawing At You?
Perhaps you’re hitting a significant milestone in life, like moving in with your partner, getting married, or starting a family. You may wonder if you are up to the task of devoting your life to a spouse and family, unsure if this is what you really want or if you’re just going through the motions of what’s expected.
Similarly, you may be at a turning point in your career, struggling with burnout and a lack of motivation. Whether you’re feeling unfulfilled or underappreciated at your job, you may be considering a new position or new career path entirely. Yet, you’ve worked so hard to get here, and you wonder if you’re just going through a phase or experiencing something deeper.
Life transitions often include elements of loss. Alongside the loss of an expectation for how your life was supposed to be, you may be facing the loss of a person, relationship, or identity. Many men seek counseling when they are grieving a loved one, going through a divorce or breakup, or considering retirement because these transitions in life often leave us feeling alone, powerless, and out of control.
I’m here to assure you that you possess the skills and resilience needed to move forward. In counseling through Therapy 4Men, you can feel supported in facing the challenges in your life, leveraging your strengths, and making the most out of your unique life transition.
You’ve Arrived At The End Goal—So Why Does It Feel Like Something’s Missing?
Psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar coined the term arrival fallacy, or “the illusion that once we make it, once we attain our goal or reach our destination, we will reach lasting happiness.”[1] This can apply to a wide range of accomplishments, from career advancement to financial success to making strides in our relationships. For many of us, it feels like we’re chasing our tails through life.
This is often because we were conditioned by certain pressures and norms. Whether it was expected of us to embark upon a particular career path or “settle down,” get married, and start a family before we felt emotionally and financially ready, we can begin to feel like the decisions we make belong to someone else, and not us.
Unfortunately, as men, it can be difficult to question our choices or admit that we need help. We may be worried about burdening friends and family with our problems. Or perhaps we know we won’t receive objective feedback because those close to us have different ideas about what we should do.
That’s where counseling comes in. A therapist makes space for you to pause, take a step back, and assess the situation. As we work to discover what you want for your life in therapy, you can learn to move through the next transition with confidence and ease.
[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/28/smarter-living/you-accomplished-something-great-so-now-what.html
Counseling For Life Transitions At Therapy 4Men
When it doesn’t seem like life is happening on your terms, everyday situations and decisions can feel loaded with anxiety and what ifs. But in the neutral, objective space of therapy, you can find clarity and answers to life’s most pressing questions.
Whether you’re considering a big step in your relationship, making a job- or retirement-related transition, or reeling from a life-changing loss, counseling can provide you with concrete solutions.
What To Expect
While I tailor the therapy process to meet the unique needs of each client, our early sessions will likely be spent exploring your expectations and beliefs. Looking at your life transition objectively, I will help you determine how perceptions of yourself and around you are contributing to self-doubt, hopelessness, and confusion.
From there, I will offer you meaningful skills to sideline your inner critic. Using a combination of mindfulness, control-mastery theory, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), you can learn to tune into what your feelings are telling you and establish a sense of control over your response to those feelings. Through this, you can achieve a new, more affirming perspective that will help you feel capable of tackling obstacles.
Significant transitions are often difficult and overwhelming, but therapy is a great resource during life’s adjustment periods. By working with a therapist to gain clarity and confidence, you can overcome the fear and distress at the core of your life transition.
Still Unsure If Therapy Is Right For You?
++ I don’t have the time or money for therapy.
If you are concerned about making a time or financial commitment to therapy, I encourage you to consider the cost of not seeking help. Prolonged anxiety and stress lead to strained relationships, decreased productivity, and physical symptoms. Through counseling, you can actually increase your earning potential as you develop self-confidence and more effective coping strategies.
In addition, note that if time is a concern, I can be flexible with scheduling. Because I offer counseling for life transitions online, it can save you the time and financial expense of a commute.
++ How does talking about a particular transition in therapy actually change my life circumstances?
My approach to counseling is predominantly solution-focused, meaning we spend more time on the now and the future than we do on the past. As a therapist, it’s my goal to arm you with the concrete skills and perspectives you need to make positive and lasting changes in your life. Not to mention, by disclosing your burdens to a trained, nonjudgmental professional, you can free up some of the emotional and mental energy that your fears and worries have been draining you of.
++ I’m afraid of looking weak or foolish in front of a counselor—I want to feel in control of the process.
When I began going to therapy myself, I had a lot of reservations about opening up to a stranger. I quickly found, however, that being vulnerable and honest about my fears was actually the key to overcoming them.
I believe that true strength lies in acknowledging and confronting the parts of yourself that you have been avoiding—this begins the process of growth and transformation. And whenever we are working together, I will structure our sessions in a way that feels meaningfully supportive, nonjudgmental, and paced to your comfort level.
Still Unsure If Therapy Is Right For You?
++ I don’t have the time or money for therapy.
If you are concerned about making a time or financial commitment to therapy, I encourage you to consider the cost of not seeking help. Prolonged anxiety and stress lead to strained relationships, decreased productivity, and physical symptoms. Through counseling, you can actually increase your earning potential as you develop self-confidence and more effective coping strategies.
In addition, note that if time is a concern, I can be flexible with scheduling. Because I offer counseling for life transitions online, it can save you the time and financial expense of a commute.
++ How does talking about a particular transition in therapy actually change my life circumstances?
My approach to counseling is predominantly solution-focused, meaning we spend more time on the now and the future than we do on the past. As a therapist, it’s my goal to arm you with the concrete skills and perspectives you need to make positive and lasting changes in your life. Not to mention, by disclosing your burdens to a trained, nonjudgmental professional, you can free up some of the emotional and mental energy that your fears and worries have been draining you of.
++ I’m afraid of looking weak or foolish in front of a counselor—I want to feel in control of the process.
When I began going to therapy myself, I had a lot of reservations about opening up to a stranger. I quickly found, however, that being vulnerable and honest about my fears was actually the key to overcoming them.
I believe that true strength lies in acknowledging and confronting the parts of yourself that you have been avoiding—this begins the process of growth and transformation. And whenever we are working together, I will structure our sessions in a way that feels meaningfully supportive, nonjudgmental, and paced to your comfort level.
You’ve Been Spinning Your Wheels Long Enough—Let’s Get Traction And Move Forward
Taking control of a major decision or transition through therapy will allow you to create the best life possible. I invite you to Book A Call with me to learn more about my counseling approach and find out if we’re a good fit. In-person sessions are available at my San Francisco and Corte Madera office locations. Otherwise, online counseling is available to clients throughout California.
Get Help Today
Leave A Message
Relevant Blog Posts
How to Spot Codependency in a Relationship
Sometimes, even the best intentions can be taken too far. This is the case with a codependent person. Think of someone with a good heart. Their default setting is to help others. If such a person enters into a relationship, this desire to help can become unhealthy. It...
Why is There Social Stigma Around Money and Emotional Struggles?
For a society so money-based, it’s fascinating to witness all the stigmas related to finances. If someone gets a new job, it’s taboo to ask about their salary. When they move into a new home, no respectable person will inquire about the cost of the house. The list...
Balancing Your Life While Still Being Highly Valuable and Productive at Work
Our culture makes some challenging demands on us. For example, we’re expected to strive, grind, and succeed in whatever job or career we’re in. Somehow, at the same exact time, our “personal lives” should be rich, fulfilling, healthy, and brimming with close...
