Recognizing Symptoms of Complicated Grief

The experiences of loss and grief are inevitable. During these challenging times, each of us must find our own way to handle such a tricky and unpredictable process. Everyone drives differently but most of us will struggle with crying spells, sleep disturbances, an inability to concentrate, appetite changes, and an urge to withdraw. We may struggle with feelings like guilt, self-blame, loneliness, and emptiness.

As difficult as all of this can be, the above signs and emotions are temporary — unless they’re not. You see, while there’s no strict timetable for mourning, complicated grief is a condition in which the pain doesn’t stop. Complicated grief requires outside help. 

Recognizing Symptoms of Complicated Grief

It’s not that all the signs discussed here are “abnormal.” Rather, it often has to do with intensity and duration.

All-Encompassing and Obsessive Sorrow

Your sadness is the dominant component of your life. It influences all of your perceptions, thoughts, and behaviors. This can manifest as an obsession. You talk about the person who died, model yourself on them, and fixate on their belongings. In some cases, however, your obsession could involve a diligent avoidance of any such reminders or conversations.

Physical Issues

Someone with complicated grief may not realize that some or all of the following can be connected:

• Sleep problems
• Eating much more or less
• Fatigue and low energy
• Digestive issue
• Unexplained aches and pains

Struggling With Daily Functioning 

It’s not fun to accept but we must all return to “everyday life” at some point after suffering a loss. Watch for red flags like: 

• Struggles at work or school
• Neglecting basic hygiene 
• Self-isolation
• No longer interested in activities you once enjoyed 
• Being easily triggered into anger, sorrow, numbness, and distrust
• Thoughts of self-harm

Are There Risk Factors For Complicated Grief?

It’s not possible to know in advance that you’re at risk for complicated grief but there are some factors to consider:

• Are you dealing with mental illness or substance abuse?
• Were you dependent on the person who died?
• Was the death sudden and/or traumatic? 
• Did you witness the death?
• Are you coping with more than one loss?

Complicated Grief Can Be Treated and Managed

When dealing with complicated grief, it’s never about blame. No one “brings it on themselves.” That said, it is essential that you seek professional help and engage in self-loving steps to facilitate the healing process. Here are two fundamental steps you can take to complement your treatment:

Avoid Suppressing Painful Memories

There’s a simple logic behind the desire to avoid thoughts that make us sad. But grief must be processed before it is resolved. When acknowledge negative memories and emotions, you make them more manageable. People with complicated may find new ways to normalize and express their feelings, e.g.

• Journaling
• Creative outlets
• Mindfulness practices
• Bereavement support groups 

Prioritize Self-Care

When daily functioning feels overwhelming, lean on the basics. Remind yourself that you’re worth the effort by focusing on areas like:

• Partaking in exercise and physical activity every day
• Keeping regular sleep patterns
• Making healthy eating and drinking choices
• Learning relaxation techniques and stress management

Therapy is a Wise Choice When You’re Struggling After a Loss

There is no strict blueprint for grief. Sure, it has stages but it also has twists and turns you don’t see coming. No one should ever be expected to have all the answers during a mourning period. That’s why so many folks seek help along the way. Having an experienced guide by your side won’t stop you from feeling sad but it can make a huge difference in how that sadness manifests in your daily life. I invite you to reach out and connect soon.