Rebuilding Your Social Circle: How to Make New Friends as an Adult Man

As kids, making friends can be as simple as living next door to someone, being on the same team, or sharing a classroom. Sure, in adulthood, similar types of opportunities are present, but we’re different. Being a grown man is very different from the simplicity of childhood. Even when you have a few things in common, your adult emotions and experiences get in the way.

Everyone we meet might trigger a memory that we’d rather forget. The thought of becoming vulnerable enough to cultivate a close friendship seems daunting. However, like any form of emotional change, there are some proven paths to override self-sabotaging tendencies.

Why Do Adult Men Have So Much Trouble Making New Friends?

Like any adult, there is the issue of time. We have jobs, families, interests, and other activities that consume large portions of our daily lives. This reality can limit the number of chances we have to meet someone we don’t already know. Then, even if that happens, some issues stymie potential friendships. For example:

Lack of Trust

Every adult can tell you tales about the times they’ve been betrayed. Such experiences can dissuade men from taking new chances. The fear of rejection is high, so high that it can easily outweigh the desire to make new connections.

Insecurity

You might call this a different version of a lack of trust. In this case, a man does not trust himself to be worthy of new companions. A lifetime of ups and downs can put some dents in his confidence and the last thing he wants is someone taking too close of a look at him now.

Being Unwilling to Mix Things Up

The two reasons above, combined with having an adult schedule, can lead you to convince yourself that you’re fine with the status quo. In theory, a new buddy would be awesome. In practice, well… you remember how that last friendship ended, right? So, if you don’t make space for new friends, you have a built-in, plausible excuse for not trying.

4 Ways to Rebuild Your Social Circle and Make New Friends as an Adult Man

1. Looks For Reconnections

Not all friendships end poorly. In fact, not all friendships end. They have a habit of drifting into the distance. Check your contact list to see who you’ve lost touch with and reach out to say hello. Of course, you may have outgrown each other in the ensuing years, but this approach eliminates a major chunk of the whole “meeting someone new” anxiety.

2. Seek Commonalities

It certainly worked in the fifth grade. When interacting with neighbors, co-workers, or any other acquaintances, stay tuned in for shared interests. One of the smoothest transitions into a conversation is when you realize you have something fun in common.

3. Join a Few Interesting Groups

This is a corollary to #2 above. Instead of hoping to find things in common, you can be proactive. Join groups — in person and/or online — dedicated to specific topics and hobbies. This way you have a clear conversation starting point!

4. Be a Social Couple

You might be a guy in a committed relationship who currently does everything with his partner. If it’s agreed upon, why not invite other couples along from time to time?

Therapy Can Be an Ideal Way to Begin This Process

Sometimes, life takes control and leaves you in a surprising place. Therefore, if you wake up one day wishing you had put more time and effort into developing your social life, you might need a little help getting that going. Adult men can absolutely rebuild their social life and I’d be happy to help you as you make that happen. Let’s talk…..